I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Fuck appropriateness.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
