He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
