I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
