great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
