i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
