The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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