This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
