I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
