I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
