We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I love you.
Bad choice
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
