she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
