THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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