dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
