Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Bring me that man meat
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