after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Four minutes until I can fart!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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