i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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