i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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