This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize