covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
