just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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