margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
