You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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