sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
