We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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