If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
