can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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