next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
