why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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