I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
