The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
