omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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