Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize