i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
