Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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