some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
