Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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