so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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