nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
