Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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