I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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