I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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