the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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