He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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