I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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