I'm eating all of the evidence.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i dont even know how to be here
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
