nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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