I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just google imaged poop.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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