I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
