My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is the high leading the old right now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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