Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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