I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
