we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
