Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
