What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
