we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
