So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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