Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
