i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
